I keep rehashing a column I read in our paper this morning. John Rosemond is a family psychologist and has a weekly parenting column in our newspaper. The title of his column today was "Teaching Self-Esteem Not Best Method."
He states, "In the 1960's, American parents stopped going to their elders for advice and began going instead to mental health professionals--people like me." To sum this up, he is saying that professionals came up with something new; that high self-esteem is a good thing and all parents should make sure their children acquire it. It sounded good and was easy to market.
The evidence is now in that says people with high self-regard possess low regard for others. People with high self-esteem want to be served and paid attention to. The comment that caught my attention was "So to the question, 'Isn't it possible for a child to have high self-esteem and a high level of respect for others?' the answer is an unequivocal no."
Parents say they want their children to be confident. There is no evidence that people who are humble, modest, and possess high regard for others lack the belief they are capable of dealing with life's challenges. "The Amish do not value or promote high self-esteem. They call it being prideful."
And then there is the commonsense test. "Would you rather be employed by, work along-side, be close friends with, be married to a person with high self-esteem or a person who is humble and modest?" He finishes his column by saying that high self-esteem "has damaged children, families, schools and culture and we should begin the invigorating, rejuvenating process of finding our way back home."
I can remember when I was a young mother, all this self-esteem gobbledygook was coming out in books, etc. I am the first to admit that being a parent is a tough job. You do as your common sense guides you. You do as you saw your parents do, if it was right or not. This was your guide. You just do what you can, pray about it and keep your fingers crossed that your children will become caring and successful adults and parents themselves.
I do feel that too many books are being written and too many people are reading them. If a child can learn common sense by observing, a love for mankind and all that we are given in this world and a love of God, they can become parents and teach their own children that humility, modesty and love for one another is what can keep our world at peace.
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